Jelly Beans and my week

I've had such a busy weeks its been really bad. . .like good but bad!!

On Tuesday I saw an old friend, someone I hadn't seen in ages, we regressed back to fifteen year old state and sat around listening to CKY drinking Jack Daniels like proper rock kids. It was good. . .it made me feel old. (I'm not)

I was up late most nights trying to get art done and get stuff mounted ready for my friends Fair, however it snowed that day so it was a bit quiet. . . and I stressed all week for no reason. .  .

Then my indicators stopped working, and the screen wash stopped working, and the toilet stopped working!! Disaster. . .I'm also very hard up for money right now so that makes it worse.

Although I've almost finished this -

I'm more than bored of it now.

Art and that

I've been working alot on this recently.

Its not finished and i'm bored of it now!!

But yeah, my work friend has asked me to put my artwork up at a craft fair she is having, so i thought i should probably do something new. Hence trying to manically finish this whilst being really behind on all my other aspects of life. I'll get there though. . one year.

??

So today was meant to be one of those really overly productive days. . .where you get absolutely everything done that you set out to do on Friday afternoon.

However i stayed up a bit late on Friday night watching films by myself, which is a bit miserable but when you are watching something you kind of forget what's around you and become completely engrossed in the film anyway. It was one of those films that requires you to think. On recommendation from someone i work with i got Shutter Island, and i can see why he liked it, it was really dead good.

Well despite this i still woke up at around half eight, which for a Saturday was amazing. Nest was downstairs playing COD which meant i stayed in bed for another hour until finally getting up. . . and then i found myself sitting mindlessly in front of the TV for an hour watching Goks fashion fix, wondering what the hell happened to my life!!

Finally i got up, and its Christmas, or it felt like Christmas so i went over board. . .

Yeah thats one Christmasy jumper!! 

After a most enjoyable drive out to Bury listening to band of horses and thinking about the summer time it was one or something later, anyway, i didn't get anything i wanted to get in bury and just got distracted by some owls!! I saw them and i was reminded of something i had seen in a competitor magazine a few weeks before when trawling through trying to find something of any interest.

They were pretty immense.,. . i looked at them for about. . .ten minutes, and willed myself to buy one. . . .but i couldn't justify spending £15 on owls. . .when i could make one from this magazine that would look like this - 

I reckon its just as good. . .its not but i'll pretend. 

Sadly i saw some boots that i wanted, they were over £100, i don't have that. . ..and then i wandered into a computer exchange shop and saw this DVD on blue ray. 

Umm i stood and looked at Funny Games for at least ten minutes trying to remember where i saw it and the story line and why i was so wanting to watch it again. Then i remembered sitting with Luke watching this entire film and being so confused by the whole thing, why there was a film like it. . .and the soundtrack? Well just watch it. . .don't watch it. . .maybe? Anyway these to people who like golf are actually crazy. . . and a few weeks later on a long drive up to Scotland my tire burst on a motorway with snowy mountains on one side and a sheer drop to a via duct with train lines and stuff on the other side. Standing at the side of this busy road completely defeated and angry and miserable and screaming at the woman from RAC who decided she "didn't know where we were in relation to anything and therefore couldn't possibly send anyone out to help" well. . yes standing a the side of this road, a man pulled over in a massive massive massive land rover crazy Satan death metal satanic metal death music filling the lay-by as he open his doors to help!! So this is good right? Hes helping, well he opened his boot, and there they were, golf clubs! I was completely petrified. Obviously he was a dead harmless and nice man. . .but at the time, completely scared!

So that happened, and i didn't do anything i wanted to do. . .and i gave up and came home. I did see the new Harry Potter film, which is really really good.

I have decided that it is a nice idea to take photos of everything that is nice. Or that brings a memory, or deserves having a photo. I also got an app so i can change them all. . .make them pretty before i upload them, thats why they look al right. . .i'll get bored of that soon enough though.

My dad always used to say that "Photographs are just ghosts from the past" He is a man who enjoys taking hundreds of photographs, looking at them once and then putting them in cupboard and forgetting they exist. I always thought there was some truth in that comment, in the sense you look at something from your childhood and for me anyway i always wish and wish i could go back. . . so hard, and i end up just. . y'no living that dream! At the same time, its amazing. . .to look at something from so long ago, photos of your grandparents when they were 16, how different people look. . .amazing.

I did think alot today about work, university work. . . . writing and i starting thinking up a character in my head. . .someone, with a sweet voice and a Russian accent? Dark hair and tick eyebrows that suit her. . .green eyes that stare out of skin really intensely because of the contrasting colours of hair pale skin and green. Successful and loved by everyone, generous and kind. . .but just a bit of a bitch!! I think i will write her out next. . . i need to do more. . .like just writing and writing character making, they need to be believable. My next assignment i'm nervous about. . .we have to write a full story. . not long, but the characters and the dialogue need to believable and complex, as well as the description, i need to challenge all the cliches and make something fantastic. Umm its hard work.

If you haven't already guessed i can't sleep. . .so i'm definitely rambling. 

I can't stop listening to this at the moment -

Waking up zeroed in on medicine
Am I waking up at all today
Seeing lights, feeling pain
There's my cure on ice
I can walk but I will crawl there
I will crawl there
Sitting straight, feeling faint
An exhausted smile screens my words
But I will hear them
Here's a phrase that we all know
But I can't make sense
I don't know words but I will hear them
I still hear them
Never ran away for the sake of scars
Tried not to move but she was armed
And shots were fired
Now a hole in the head of this wounded liar
Never had a drink that I didn't like
Got a taste of you, threw up all night
I got more sick
With every sour second rate kiss
Everything I never would miss again
I don't know who your boyfriend is . . . 

When it came out i brought the vinyl of it, just the single, it was white. . . and the b-side was an acoustic version of this song, its better than the original! It crackles at the beginning because of how many times i played it when i used to live at home, and its alot quieter than if you were to download it or listen to it on a CD. The kind of quiet that you forget and when you put a CD on next it makes you jump and run over to the volume and quickly try and turn it down. 

I want to listen to this again.

I probably ran out of crap to write before now and just carried on, i'm going to go now!! 

Its no longer Saturday.

A few things. . .

Sometimes I just have to write, just to write anything, anywhere. . .anytime! That's why I started this, but since having it I haven't had anything really interesting or worth writing about, for that reason I thought I would share some moments from Christmas until now. 

At Christmas Luke and I decided to decorate the little house we shared to make it feel more like a home. I came back from work one day and he had decorated the whole place. There were strips of brilliant silver hanging down from the archway between the living room and the dinning room which made it feel like we were living in a sex shop. 

We left the decorations up for as long as we could get away with it as the house felt so empty without them.

On new years eve my friends visited from all around and we sat in my small living room drinking and talking until the morning. It snowed, and we played outside at around 2.00am making perfect footprints. 

In April after living by myself and struggling with money I got a different job, I went out with my friends from work sad to be leaving after over two years, and we celebrated my success and my time there. I still miss those people and that team every day.

Angel and I attended Butlins.

 we drank cider from a mug and 

listened to Band of Horses all weekend. The new president was announced and Angel and I took a liking to the young Nick Clegg. His nickname - Cleggy. I won at bowling several times and we rode pedalos drunkenly in a lake in Skegness. We walked on the beach and became scared at the wind turbines we could see in the distance. We found the most perfectly fun bar, and met the worst type of people, it was more than just fun.

 In the Summer we drove up to reading festival and after the worst weather that August had ever seen we did manage to pitch a tent four times the size than any normal tent. It was flooded all around, and we were wet and covered in mud, and initially, miserable. It was worth it.

Nest and I got the train to Felixstowe in the warm and walked around a lot of art work to get to where Tom Sleep was playing. It was quiet and they were late on, the battery had gone in the guitar, but it was pretty and they were beautiful. We sat on the grass with Helen who looked like summer. We went to a cafe on the hillside that reminded me of something out of an old English film. We played Mini Golf the outside kind, and I lost. Badly.


Tom Sleep - I Can Change :)

I made an effort with my new team at work and went out with them in Colchester. We got drunk and I sent texts that probably made little sense and I probably shouldn't of sent, but I don't regret. I stayed at Beckys house and at 3.00am she began poaching eggs, after which leaving the egg on the pan and having a bath I turned to see smoke rising as the eggs burnt to the bottom of the pan. In my drunken state, this was very funny.

I took Joe around my home town. We stayed up and sat by the sea, it was cold. It was dark. It was good, I enjoy the lights. We spent a drunken night at Angels house in which we drew all over Joe when he was asleep, feeling guilty I attempted to get the obscene words of his face with baby wipes, it was unsuccessful.

 We brought tickets to go travelling for a lot more than we first expected. We brought over priced coffee and I was sad to see him leave. 

17th November

So today i am missing the sea awfully.

Sitting in this office is so. . .landlocked i guess?

The weekend was dead good, y'no the times when the sea is dead dark. . . y'no cus its night! Well it was like that. Real late. . .and real dark, and real cold, like true winter. Winter is definitely coming, on Monday i scrapped the ice of the outside of my car, got in and turned on the fans in order to clear the condensation and realised it was not condensation, it was in fact. . .ice, yeah! Ice on the inside of my car. Winter is most definitely here.

I don't mind that though. I wrapped up warm, several layers, too many actually. I got a tattoo this week, and the tattooist actually said "What are you like. . . ." as if i was ten, and then commented that i was "probably a size eight under all of those layers" - I am not, but it would be nice.

I haven't done anything spectacular to put up here, nothing interesting or out of the ordinary. . .and although i said it i write something completely beautiful and amazing i would post it up, i have yet to write anything that's to a standard i would like to share. . .

even if no one is reading this!

yes well.

Yes.

looking up to observe how these rockets pull the ride. . .

Its monday night and i'm bored.

I don't know overly what to do with myself now the evenings are so dark. Don't get me wrong i love the cold and wearing scarf's and the fact it feels like ten when its only seven, but its so different and i'm confused by it all.

I should be working or doing something good, but i can't concentrate, i think i have listened to the same song five times because it gets to the end and i realise i didn't actually listen to it or take it in at all, and the reason i put it on was because i love it! So i keep putting it back to the start over and over. Its cold, i'm cold but i can't be bothered to move.

I'm not excited about work tomorrow in any way. I want to stay in bed i think and moan about my life in my head. Its not bad in anyway, i'm just in a bad mood. It took me twenty minutes to park my car for work this morning, how shit is that!! Why are there never any spaces, and when there are spaces someone always blocks you in, the story of my life. . .shit.

I literally have nothing interesting to say, i'm going to birmingham this week to do hobby crafts, exciting! I'll talk about that soon, yeah that will be good.

gay.